I work with all types of couples facing a variety of challenges. Some issues I help couples overcome are difficulties adjusting to transitions such completing school and establishing a career, parenthood, moving in together or marriage. When couples struggle to adjust to major life transitions, they can grow apart rather than together if they do not communicate their emotions. I have found that often both partners are concerned about the same thing, however they do not realize it because they do not communicate. If relationship issues continue to remain unaddressed, sometimes partners end up looking for solutions outside of the relationship, and infidelity can result. I work with couples to address their issues before larger problems such as infidelity can occur. However, I also help couples re-build trust and intimacy if infidelity has already occurred. Relationship problems always takes two people. I help each partner to identify their contribution to the relationship problems and help them to work together to address them rather than continue a cycle of blaming one other.
I also sometimes recommend occasional couples sessions to my individual clients who are struggling with issues that affect the relationship. Some examples of issues that can affect a relationship are OCD, ADHD or eating disorders. Partners often do not know how to support their loved one who is struggling with issues such as these. They get frustrated when they see their loved one engage in problematic or destructive behavior that does not make sense to them or that interferes with their relationship. I help partners to better understand their loved one’s condition and learn ways to support and compassionately set boundaries rather than enable. I emphasize that their loved one is not the problem, but rather the issue (such as OCD) is the problem. This allows the partner to stop blaming their loved one and it allows their loved one to take more accountability for their recovery or coping skills work. When the couple learns how to separate the issue from the struggling partner’s identity, the couple can then work together as a team to address the problem rather than allow the issue to drive them apart.